General

The very special one: from Chartered Surveyor to Sideline Strategist

If you’d told me a few months ago that I’d be managing a football team, I’d have assumed you were talking about Fantasy Premier League and that I’d once again forgotten to change my team.

But here I am – Director at NG Chartered Surveyors by day, and now the proud, slightly nervous, newly appointed Manager of the mighty Burton Joyce U12s Blues.

Yes, that’s right. The same team NG have proudly sponsored for five seasons now. And now I’m taking my support to the next level: with a newly-purchased whistle and  clipboard from Amazon, and a Google search history full of “how to run a football training session without ruining childhoods”.

The Ted Lasso Comparison

Now, I know what you’re thinking – this has all the makings of a Ted Lasso reboot: a well-meaning man with no formal coaching experience, a heart full of enthusiasm, and a penchant for overusing inspirational quotes.

I can neither confirm nor deny that I’ve already told the kids, “Be a goldfish.”

But I can confirm this: I’m not expecting perfection. I’m looking for the perfect effort. That’s all I ask. That, and that no one nutmegs me during training – it’s bad for my morale.

A Team Worth Managing (and Losing My Voice For)

The Blues are a fantastic bunch of kids; talented, funny, full of energy (a bit too full sometimes) and just the right mix of chaos and creativity. I’m genuinely excited to help guide them alongside two equally brave and possibly misguided fellow parents who’ve agreed to join me in this mission. They say it takes a village to raise a child. It apparently also takes three slightly overwhelmed adults to stop nine of them from chasing the ball like caffeinated puppies.

What We’ll Focus On

Our goals are simple:

• Respect – For each other, for our opponents, and for the unfortunate referee who forgot his earplugs.
• Being Brave – Trying new things, making mistakes, and learning from them (hopefully before the final whistle).
• Giving 100% – Win, lose, or accidentally score an own goal off your shin – if you gave your all, you’re winning in my book.

Final Whistle

So, as I step into this new role with a potent mix of excitement and low-level panic, I’ve taken my preparation very seriously. I’ve watched every inspirational sports film ever made—from Cool Runnings to Coach Carter, Moneyball to Mighty Ducks. At this point, I consider myself highly qualified in emotional locker room speeches, slow-motion montages, and shouting “Let’s go!” with ever-increasing urgency.

I’m fully prepared to channel Keanu Reeves in The Replacements when we’re trailing at half-time, with the championship on the line:

“Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory… lasts forever.”

And if that doesn’t land? I’ll pivot instantly to my backup motivational masterpiece:

“Feel the rhythm! Feel the rhyme! Get on up, it’s football time!”

In all seriousness, I just want the kids to learn what it means to work as a team. To respect one another. To be brave, try new things, and always give their very best – no matter the scoreline.

First match kicks off 10th May. Wish me luck. Or better yet, send coffee. It’s going to be a wild ride.